On a Wednesday night, Marc and I found ourselves at Carrabba’s. I had never been there before. We were trying to decide where to eat and it was right there. We sat at the bar, it was just us and the bartender (who was hilariously sarcastic and entertaining). As we joked with her, an elderly gentleman sat down next to me and placed a food order to go. We could hear the bartender chatting with him but didn’t really pay much attention.

Some time had passed and we were waiting for our food when Marc mentioned that the man kept looking over like he wanted to talk. So I turned and smiled at him. He was wearing a hat with the name of a golf course. Marc asked him if he played golf. “I used to play every day, until I got cancer.” There went my heart.

Ike is 87. He and his wife previously lived in Florida. When he was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, they moved to NH to be near his daughter so she could help them. He goes to Dana Farber in Londonderry once a month for a chemo treatment. His wife broke her ankle and is having a hard time getting around. That was why he was picking up dinner.

Our food came and we continued chatting. I asked him about his cancer, what kind it was, how he was feeling, told him how I lost both of my parents to cancer. “You know what I think,” he said. “I think they don’t want to find a cure for cancer. They make so much money on the chemo drugs.” I agreed with him and told him I wouldn’t be surprised if they already had a cure for cancer. I was almost in tears at this point. Feeling guided, I gave him my business card and explained the benefits of reflexology and reiki. I also told him that I do home visits. He asked if it would help with mental health. I explained how both can help with anxiety and depression. He thanked me and put the card in his wallet.

When his food came out, he got ready to leave. I felt compelled to give him a hug, so I stood up and asked him if that would be ok. He said yes and I just wrapped my arms around him. He was so thin and frail, but he held onto me so tightly. “This feels so good,” he said. My heart broke. How long since this man has had any human contact? Any physical touch or comfort? When I sat back down, he was wiping his eyes. “You brought tears to my eyes. Thank you.”

Well, now I’m crying. Marc is wiping his eyes. The bartender comes around and says “what happened? What did you do? Do you know him?” Turns out she also lost someone to cancer. Now she is all teary and loving on me (good thing there was nobody else in the bar). It was honestly one of the most beautiful and genuine experiences I have ever had.

I don’t know that I will hear from Ike. I do know that I followed my heart and I gave him comfort in that moment. How many others are out there, starved for attention and affection, because of this “pandemic.” It’s just heartbreaking. We need to stop living in FEAR. We need human touch, it is a basic physical human need. And we need more love.

God bless you Ike. Thank you for sitting next to us at the bar.